How to Influence Without Authority: A collection of proven tactics

If you are early in your career, navigating org politics, or just trying to make a dent in a big system, this playbook is for you. These tools were built from trial, error and by learning from a lot of smart people. 

Understand the people and system (even the weird and irrational stuff)

When people join the workforce they are often frustrated. They’ve developed an idea of the way things should work from their parents, teachers, friends and social media, what they discover is a workplace that doesn’t make sense.

We like to think that we make decisions rationally but we don’t. We have many biases. We can be tricked by behavioral science. We don’t use words the same way. The way we make decisions and communicate based on our experience and that is unique to us. So we understand it but no one else does. Organizations are made up of people, so no wonder they adopt our quirks and irrational behavior.

We understand and accept your clients, stakeholders, teammates and executives as individuals. We can’t make our clients or stakeholders be the people we want them to be.

They don’t speak our language, they are motivated by other things and their experience is their own. Instead of getting frustrated we need to meet them where they are.

What seems weird and irrational to you might make lots of sense when you start to consider:

• Motivation: Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler says we have ideal, real and taboo values. Some values are easy to discover, others are hiding beneath the surface. Companies have the same hidden values. Their mission statement may say one thing, but you’ll find other values drive decisions.

• Constraints: Barriers real or imagined exist in any organization. If you are new to the organization you may not understand what these are and how people are choosing which battles to fight.

• Communication: Social Psychologist Heidi Grant Halvorson‘s research shows how people interpret our words and actions. She’s found stereotypes and past experience can create miscommunications. Give people the benefit of the doubt and work to correct miscommunications.

When you accept this then you can get to work learning about the people and what they care about, how they see success, how to motivate them and what will set them off. You’ll learn who you need to approach, how and in what order. Most importantly you can accept that change without power is a ground campaign. You win it by inches and your only tool is influence.

If you think saying something smart is all you need to make your idea a reality, you will have a career filled with disappointment and frustration. You need help, money, permission and support and getting it isn’t easy.

Prepare for the worst 

So many times my conversations have gone sideways or I ran right into a brick wall. I’ve learned to prepare myself for the worst, have a plan and be ready for anything. If you’ve taken the time to plan you’re calmer and more confident and the person you’re talking to will see that.

I've learned from influential people to whiteboard and plan conversations. We’d think about our audience and the story they needed to hear. We would make sure we had the answers to their questions or objections at the ready.

I generally find worksheets silly but my teams have benefited from having templates for common hard conversations and doing some planning. You may think this is too much but it’s way better to be over than under prepared.

Let’s say you have a great idea for a solution to a problem that’s been plaguing your team and you can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t immediately say yes. Except when you explain your idea to your team lead the conversation goes wrong and your idea goes no where.

Presenting a new idea, pushing back on a bad one, asking for something, delivering bad news, raising risks are all common conversations that can go wrong.

Through trial and a lot of error I’ve learned that a little preparation helps things go more smoothly. I’ve created a series of worksheets for my team so they can self-serve if I’m not around.

Don’t just influence, make an ask 

If you want someone to do something (give permission, take an action, invest money) you need to ask them to do it. I’ve seen many people present ideas and but not ask for action. Don’t assume that your audience can read your mind.

Be prepared to answer questions and objectives 

Consider the perspective of the person or people you are talking to and list all of the questions, concerns or motivations they have. Then start thinking of ways to answer so you are prepared if it comes up.

Always set the table for the conversation 

I’m impatient, I always want to dive right into discussion. My friend Cip is the master of the setup, he makes sure that the person(s) he’s speaking with know the background, objectives and what we want to accomplish in the conversation. Clients, stakeholders and especially executives are very busy people, quickly remind them of what we’re doing and where we are in the process so they can make a decision.

From there you can describe what’s happening and why it is a problem or opportunity. For example, “We are trying to do these stories, but we’re blocked because an api isn’t ready. We’re at risk not having the feature for the March release when the sales team needs it for the conference”

Practice or role play (yes really)

It can be incredibly awkward to practice or role play a conversation. But going through things with a friend will help you think through things, refine your point of view and give you more confidence. You may worry that you will become too rehearsed or robotic, I seriously doubt that will happen.

Manage yourself

According to Patrick Lencioni’s Getting Naked, our fear causes us to withhold ideas, hide mistakes and edit to save face.

What motivates you? drives you? annoys you? infuriates you? scares you? These are the things that are driving your elephant whether you know it or not. The more you accept this, the more successful you will be in emphasizing, managing emotions and ultimately creating change.

When someone doesn’t like our brilliant idea it's easy to get frustrated and defensive but that’s only going to hurt your cause. If your ego is more important than your cause, you will not be successful. In Getting Past No, William Ury argues that when things are hard our natural reactions are to strike back, give in or break off. Instead of reacting, we should “Go to the Balcony” to step back from our emotional reaction and try to get a broader perspective as if we stepped off the stage and moved to better vantage point. Ury also recommends that we know our hot buttons, those things that will make us angry or defensive.

Read the room or person

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in making our point or achieving our goal, we don’t focus on others. Are they interested, indifferent, annoyed, confused, jarred? Pay attention and make the effort to connect, be willing to say “you look confused” or “you seem concerned” so you can deal with any issue quickly. Hostage negotiators call this labelling.  

Be on the lookout for what Bob Rogers calls an “approach response.” I hate split pea soup with a passion and just thinking of it on the stove in my parent’s house makes me ill. My approach response to pea soup is yuck. 

In sales conversations or customer interviews I like to have a designated watcher who is focused on all the non-verbals and reactions so that we can learn from those as much as what they said. AI transcription tools can’t do this…yet. 

Look for invisible drivers 

There is often something that is spooking the elephant that isn’t on the surface. I’ve written before about the immunity to change and how it holds progress back. 

My mom worked for the federal government and as big government does they made a decision to ban space heaters because they were causing computer damage and increased fire risk. One of her employees kept resisting, it was getting so bad that a formal rebuke was the next step. My mom called the employee into her office and asked what was going on. The woman’s answer? “I’m cold.” When my mom decides something needs to get handled, it does and In 10 minutes the building contractor was fixing the heating.

It’s always stuck with me as a good example of what’s driving our emotional reaction and how important it is to investigate it.

Manage the emotions

If there are seven people involved in something, you have eight sets of emotions to manage. Their  emotions and your own.  In their terrific book Switch the Heath brothers talk about the Rider and Elephant.

“(psychologist Jonathan Haidt) says that our emotional side is an Elephant and our rational side is its Rider. Perched atop the Elephant, the Rider holds the reins and seems to be the leader. But the Rider’s control is precarious because the Rider is so small relative to the Elephant. Anytime the six-ton Elephant and the Rider disagree about which direction to go, the Rider is going to lose."

We have to understand and manage these elephants. Change can make an elephant antsy, you need to see that anxiety and deal with it directly. It can often take time and a lot of touch points to get the rider and the elephant where you want them.

If you spook the elephant, it’s going to take a calming and firm hand to get it to calm down and it may take several attempts to make the change. Don’t get discouraged, just be creative and keep working until you get there.

Make awkward OK

Sometimes there is no way around it, you have to get into the awkward stuff. The best way is to admit it’s going to get awkward up front.

Former hostage negotiator Chris Voss suggests you use an accusation audit to take the sting out of something. 

Beware the dark side 

You can use your powers for ill purposes. You can get so good at playing the system that you don’t stop and fix the system. That you influence when you should lead. I’ve learned this the hard way.