I've been exploring how to drive transformation using a change story to create clarity, alignment, and momentum. But a change story alone isn’t enough.
Real transformation happens when people feel invited to participate, not forced to comply. This post is about making invitations that bring people along for the journey.
The Power of a Great Invitation
“An invitation is an act of persuasion. Every gathering is a temporary social contract, and an invitation is the opening salvo.”— Priya Parker, The Art of Gathering
Priya Parker encourages us to think about invitations we’ve received. What made you say yes right away? What made you hesitate or even reject the invite?
Most corporate change efforts feel like the bad kind of invitation—an all-hands meeting where a leader announces a bunch of changes and shows no interest in listening.
Compare that to an invitation that engages you or your team—where someone takes the time to explain the context, why this matters, and the unique role you can play in making it successful.
Years ago, I was building a product for a professional services company that helped clients track work in progress. I needed data from another team and went to Sam. It didn’t go well. I confused him, and he wasn’t sure what I wanted.
I took a step back and told the change story—what we were trying to accomplish and why. Then I invited him to contribute. That shift changed everything. He not only found the data I asked for but kept digging, brought new ideas, and became a key player on the project.
This is what a great invitation does. It transforms confusion into clarity, reluctance into engagement, and compliance into ownership.
Why Most Change Efforts Struggle
In my earlier post on driving transformation in 2025, I shared how businesses often face resistance because teams feel acted upon rather than included.
McKinsey research backs this up—transformation efforts fail when leaders don’t clearly communicate why change is happening and how people can contribute.
Too often, leaders operate in stealth mode, planning big shifts behind closed doors and rolling them out with a vague announcement. That kind of top-down secrecy breeds resistance.
You may have heard that people resist change because it makes them uncomfortable, but that’s not quite right.
According to Immunity to Change by Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey, the real issue isn’t change itself—it’s that people feel defenseless in the face of uncertainty.
“It is not change that causes anxiety; it is the feeling that we are without defenses in the presence of what we see as danger.”— Kegan & Lahey
If leaders acknowledge these concerns and help people feel less at risk, change is far more likely to succeed.
What Makes an Invitation Effective
Priya Parker argues that a great invitation sets the tone, creates anticipation, and makes people want to participate.
A strong invitation does three things:
Explains why participation matters
Clarifies what is expected
Gives people a meaningful role
It is not enough to send an email or hold an all-hands meeting. People need to hear the invitation multiple times in different ways before it sticks.
Types of Invitations That Drive Transformation
A great invitation depends on the type of change you are leading. Here are three areas where invitations make a difference.
When Roles Are Changing
Example: Product owners are transitioning to product management.
🚫 Bad invitation: “Your role is changing, and we expect you to keep up.”
✅ Good invitation: “We are evolving how we bulid product. Your expertise is critical in shaping this shift, and we want you to help define the role and transition plan.”
When Teams Need to Work Differently Together
Example: The design team launches a design system to improve UI consistency, but they don’t loop in engineering.
🚫 Bad invitation: Silence. No one tells engineering what’s going on, and they feel defensive because it will slow down delivery.
✅ Good invitation: “It’s really important that we improve UI consistency to increase cross-sell opportunities. Let’s talk about how we can support the design team in this effort.”
When Culture and Behaviors Need to Change
Example: A company moving from a risk-averse culture to one that encourages experimentation.
🚫 Bad invitation: “We need to be more innovative, so take more risks.”
✅ Good invitation: “We are building a culture that rewards experimentation. What would help you feel safe testing new ideas? Let’s create that together.”
These invitations don’t just tell people about change—they bring them into the process.
Keeping the Invitation Open
A single invitation won’t create lasting change. Leaders need to:
Model listening and participation. If leadership treats the transformation as a top priority, teams will too.
Reinforce the message. Use meetings, emails, one-on-ones, and casual conversations to repeat and refine the invitation.
Show impact. Highlight team members who are contributing so others see that participation matters.
Final Thought
Change doesn’t happen just because a leader announces it. People need to understand why it matters, how it impacts them, and where they fit into the process. A well-crafted invitation can mean the difference between resistance and engagement, frustration and momentum, failure and success.
Take a moment to reflect on how you are inviting people into change. Are you giving them a real role to play? Are you helping them feel safe enough to engage? The best change efforts don’t happen in isolation—they happen when people feel like they are part of something bigger.
