How to push back on a bad idea
The corporate leadership team wanted a mobile app. Their ideas was....not great.
Saying "this is a bad idea" would have started a fight, so I asked hard questions instead.
We went out and did the research, invalidated the idea and the CEO said, "you told us we were wrong very politely."
Some people hold their ideas closer than others
Some people hold an idea at arm's length. Others treat it as part of who they are. You can usually tell which one you're dealing with pretty fast. At my first real job we put our design work on the table and stepped back to critique it. We were tough on the work and supportive of the people who made it.
Creating space between yourself and an idea makes it easier to modify or replace.
The four moves when a bad idea comes to you
You gotta do this in order, each one prepares them for the next.
1. Explore the idea.
Maybe you misunderstood it. Maybe your first reaction was wrong.
Questions that work:
What problem does this solve, and for whom?
What would make this a success in three months?
What have you already tried?
Play it back: “Let me make sure I have it. We think this will get X because Y. The main limit is Z. Did I get that right?”
2. Probe for weakness.
If the idea still looks bad after a fair look, discreetly find the thinnest spot. Create some space between them and the idea so it’s easier to modify or replace. Ask about the weakest part, and stay curious while you do it.
What has to be true for this to work?
Which of those is least certain?
What evidence would change your mind?
Keep your guesses separate from what you know. “This assumption may not hold” lands better than “You’re too attached to this.”
3. Challenge it or suggest an alternative.
Say what you think and why, using what you learned in the first two steps. Then name the other path.
A template that works: “I understand we want [goal]. I’m worried that [specific risk], because [evidence]. An option might be [alternative], which keeps [benefit] and lowers [risk].”
Keep the concern specific. Don’t claim more certainty than you have.
4. Push for a limited experiment.
You’re not trying to change their mind. You’re trying to get them to reconsider just enough to test the idea cheaply.
Some ways to ask:
Unsure about a big commitment? Propose a pilot.
Leader wants to ship Monday? Ask them to give you two days to get feedback first.
Feeling heard helps, but it doesn't guarantee a change of mind
In lab experiments, researchers found that high-quality listening made people less extreme in their views. The effect ran through feeling connected to the listener and being less defensive. Itzchakov et al., 2024
A 2025 field study is more mixed. Researchers from Yale and other institutions had trained canvassers hold roughly 10-minute conversations about in-state tuition for undocumented immigrants. Listening made people feel more understood and less defensive. But it didn’t add persuasion beyond a personal story, either right away or five weeks later. Kalla et al., 2025
So listening lowers the temperature. On its own, it doesn’t reliably change minds. In practice, I’ve often found that when someone feels heard, they are more likely to change their minds, especially if you show them a better way to achieve their goals.
What if it doesn't work?
Sometimes the person needs to think about it for a bit. Give them that time. Don't force a decision in the room.
Some people are super attached to something. Create space between them and the idea so it's easier to change or replace.
Some people don't listen. You have to pick your battles. Spend your energy where the decision matters and let the rest go.
Why the small experiment works
A limited test lowers the stakes for everyone. The other person doesn't have to admit they were wrong. You don't have to be right either. You just have to find out.
The experiment also gives you something an argument never does: evidence you both saw. A result is harder to dismiss than your opinion. No one who has watched a test has ever said it wasn't valuable.
It won't always work. Some reasonable people get attached to something and stay that way. Some people are unreasonable no matter what you do. And sometimes it works, but only in private, where nobody has to back down in front of the room.
Most of the time, it takes two or three rounds. The first round is about being heard. The second is about looking at the idea. By the third, the other person can change direction without losing face.
The skill
Sources
How to deal with a bad idea, Hallway Studio, originally published May 2015
Kalla, Broockman, Santoro, and Porat, PNAS, February 20, 2025, as reported by Yale ISPS
Itzchakov, Weinstein, Leary, Saluk, and Amar, "Listening to Understand: The Role of High-Quality Listening on Speakers' Attitude Depolarization During Disagreements," Haifa research page
Note: the image for this post is one of my daughter's paintings that set the move appropriately
